


New Friends

by lordjenjen



Series: Pairs so Rare, I'm being Attacked By the US Army [4]
Category: South Park
Genre: Coon and friends are assholes, M/M, Request Fill, friends with a set up to be more than friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 23:04:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17671826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordjenjen/pseuds/lordjenjen
Summary: Mosquito is kicked out of Coon and Friends.





	New Friends

“What brings you to my lair, Mosquito?”

“I want to join you, Chaos. I want to join your cause.”

Mosquito watched as Professor Chaos removed his feet from atop his desk. He threaded his fingers together and leaned forward, resting his chin on them.

“Mmmmmosquitoooooo.” They way Chaos drug out his name made him suspicious. “What exactly is my cause? Tell me.”

“To cause as much Chaos as possible?”

“You don't sound too sure.” Chaos motioned to the seat in front of him. “Have a seat and tell me why you are really here.”

Mosquito inspected the chair before sitting. It wasn't that he didn't trust Chaos, it was just he had a tendency to booby trap everything. Chaos watched him closely, narrowing his eyes at Mosquito. Slowly a smile creeped on to Chaos’ face.

“Mosquito. Do you know why I became Professor Chaos, Bringer of Destruction and Doom?”

“Because it's cool?”

“No. I mean,” Chaos leaned back into his chair again, placing his feet one his desk, “yeah, it is cool. But that's not why. You see. I'm an outcast. A social reject. Shunned from society. Cast aside by those whom I use to call friends. This is their punishment.”

It took Mosquito everything he had to not say something stupid right then.

“Are you an out cast, Mosquito? A reject? Have Coon and Friends cast you aside, replaced you with someone else?”

“Yeah,” Mosquito had a hard time holding back his sorrow. It had been two weeks since he was thrown out of the Coon cave, replaced by some new hot shot, Hot Shot. No one had ever seen him before and it worried Mosquito, but before he could figure out Hot Shots deal, he was kicked out. No one tried to stop the Coon from doing it. He thought they were friends, but they cast him aside like he was nothing.

"How about a nice cup of cocoa and you tell me everything.”

***

“Do I have to change my name?” Mosquito asked looking in the mirror. Chaos proposed a new look for a new, more evil Mosquito and were checking out his new costume.

“I mean, you can stay Mosquito, but it's your hero name. What if you want to go back to being a hero?”

Mosquito glanced over at Chaos. Something about the way he asked was so innocent, like underneath the evil exterior, there was a good guy. A genuinely good guy. He could see it too. Chaos had a big heart. He'd taken Mosquito in. He'd given him a place to stay and now, a new costume. He took care of his minions and underlings. He didn't have to. No one expected such from a villian, yet he did.

“I don't think I will.” Mosquito turned back to the mirror, inspecting how good it looked on him. The black and red truly looking more villainous. “Besides, there is no going back.”

Chaos placed a hand in Clyde's shoulder. “There there, buddy. We'll make them sorry.”

***

Months of planning and organizing for this moment. Mosquito had helped Chaos run his operations, learning things not even General Disarray knew of. He'd been as kind to Chaos as Chaos had been to him. A friend.

“Alright. Phase one should be starting now.”

The two sat on the side of a hill outside of the Coon's Lair. Mosquito had been more than willing to give up the information, everything they needed to set the plan.

A car pulled up outside the house followed by a second. And third. And forth.

Chaos pulled out the hearing device and handed an ear bud to Mosquito. Grinning the two listened in on to the activities below.

“I didn't order any Pizza!” The unmistakable voice of the Coon shouted.

“Well, pretty sure you did. We got 50 pizzas here, bought and paid for.”

“Then fucking trash them! We didn't-”

“No. Wait. Coon, why don't we just eat them?” as much as he hated him, Mosquito was glad Hot Shot was at least reasonable.

“That's not the problem!” They saw the Coon motion past the first pizza guy to the four others waiting to hand over their 50 pizzas. “THAT IS!”

“Look, dude,” the pizza guy was obviously done with the hero. “It's free food then. Just take 'um.”

Coon didn't have time to answer. Two school buses pulled up. The doors opened and flooded the front yard with dozens of small children. They didn't need anything to hear the Coon's yell of frustration as children because funnelling into the house.

“It's so nice of you Coon to have these children here today. Not many people are willing to host all of our orphaned children.”

Mosquito laughed as the Coon's shouts became louder. They knew he couldn't risk another public incident. And as insurance, the news vans began pulling up on the already full street.

The rest of the heroes tried to sort through the mess but we're just adding to the confusion. More trucks arrived, bringing different items and hauling them into the back yard as Chaos and Mosquito had requested; bounce house, tents, tables, everything needed for a party.

More buses full of children unloaded. A van from the local retirement center. Every homeless person the two had come in contact with. Chaos had even run into a caravan of transient hippies. Anything and everything the Coon hated was showing up on his doorstep for what they promised to be the best pizza party.

The two began laughing at the Coon's obvious displeasure at having this take place. He couldn't gain order and he couldn't escape.

Finally, the finishing touch arrived a large banner was placed in front of his house.

**Coon and Friends**

**Less Fortunate Benefit**

**Free! Everyone Welcome!**

The Coon let out a shrill Mosquito was sure could be heard for miles. Chaos pulled out his phone and took a picture. Social Media would bring this party down.

“Shall we go have some fun?” Chaos asked putting away their equipment.

Mosquito watched as Chaos held out his hand. A simple gesture, yet it felt like the world to him.

“Yeah. I mean they put in all this effort, might as well enjoy the bounce house.”

Chaos laughed as they squeezed their way into the over packed area. Mosquito snagged two slices of pizza and handed one to Chaos. There was no longer a backyard. Someone had knocked down most of the back and side fences, making the neighbors backyards apart of this. Three separate bounce houses had arrived and the two made a beeline for the one still inflating.

They were the first ones in and the first to experience the yelling from the old man's fence being destroyed. Both laughed as the hollering brought Coon over with Toolshed, Human Kite, and Hot Shot hot on his heels.

“You're fixing my fence!” The old man yelled.

“Not fixing anything! I didn't do it!”

The two watched and bounced as Coon channeled his anger onto Human Kite, blaming him. Mosquito knew this would happen. Human Kite had been the one to suggest more community service. It only made sense he would do this. Hot Shot held Coon at Bay as Toolshed did the same for Human Kite.

“Awe! Don't fight guys!” Chaos yelled.

“Yeah! What kind of friends fight?” Mosquito egged on. “After all, you are Coon and Friends!”

The heroes turned towards the bouncing villains. Both waved and continued bouncing. A look of utter disbelief passed over the Coon's face. It was brief and quickly replaced with anger. They watched as Coon made to charge at them. Chaos shook his head and pointed to a nearby news camera.

The two laughed as Coon was pulled away for another problem.

They watched the heroes struggle throughout the day, trying their best to keep damages to a minimum, all while enjoying all the activities they paid for. Mosquito was a little disappointed their act of chaos would go unrecognized by the world, but Chaos explained it only mattered the hero's knew. And boy did they know. Every time a hero met their gaze, it was filled with loathing. Mosquito would have hated it if he didn't like the attention so much.

As the sun began to set, the two made their way back to the hill to watch the grand finale, grabbing cotton candy at the exit and waving goodbye to the Coon who was throwing a tantrum outside what use to be a fence gate.

“Why?” Mosquito stopped and turned to face whom he once considered his best friend. “Why would do this to us? I thought we were friends.”

“I thought so too, Tupperware.” Mosquito glared at the hero. “But you voted me out.”

“It's just your sup-”

“Save it.” Mosquito grabbed Chaos’ free hand. “Professor Chaos is my friend. He's been more of a friend than any of you have!”

“Awe geez, Mosquito. We'll, you're my friend too.”

Mosquito made a buzzing sound as he lifted their joined hands. “Best budzzzzz.”

A loud bang pulled the attention of the heroes away. Chaos and Mosquito didn't stick around to find out what it was. Instead they made their way back to their hiding spot on the hill as the first of the fireworks began to light up the night. Each blast illuminating the smoke billowing from Coon and Friends headquarters. Fire trucks and ambulances soon joined the scene putting an official end to the party, but not to the show.

“What do you think happened?” Chaos asked. 

Mosquito smiled. “I told a few of the kids the passcode to their hideout. They either failed enough times and the lab self-destructed or Coon didn't change it and the kids did this.”

Chaos laughed and placed his hand on top of Mosquitos. “This is going to be a beautiful friendship.”


End file.
